for those about to rock

the world's funnyman

here i am with self-proclaimed "world's funnyman" (having promoted himself from the lesser moniker of "america's funnyman"), neil hamburger, after catching him perform upstairs at the middle east this past friday night.

for those of you unfamiliar with this guy, and even for those of you who've maybe read a little about him before, let me break it down: yes, the greasy, unkempt hair, oversized glasses, frumpled tux, nervous, fidgety mannerisms, gin and tonic cocktails loaded into the crook of his arm and the disruptive clearing of the throat do indeed compose the lynchpin of his character: the down-on-his-luck, hopelessly lame lout who haunts venues of questionable repute and alternates between sparring with and begging for acceptance from his audience. but the world's worst comedian schtick is just a part of the act. the things about him that i love:

1 -- the uneven placement of good jokes among the bad.

he'll toss off something weirdly milquetoast, like

"why are colonel sanders's 11 herbs and spices a secret?


because he's ASHAMED of them!!",

and then, while you're reeling and just beginning to appreciate how bad the joke was (and, strangely, how it probably took some careful thought to actually come up with something like that intentionally), he'll hit you with

"why did god create joni mitchell?


because he needed a convenient way to transport crosby, stills and nash's sperm TO HELL!!",

and just how jarring the discrepancy is makes it all the more funny.

2 -- the consistently-pinched voice that will erupt into bellowing hoarse enough to rival ralph crandem. look neil up on youtube to see what i mean. then there's the angry clearing of the throat (see david letterman; as my brother once observed, "the muffled chuckle as violence").

3 -- the careening path from timid demeanor to (sometimes) idle threats, a la sol rosenberg: there was a heckler (maybe planted, but maybe not, honestly) wearing a lame-ass fedora up near the front of the stage that kept giving neil the business. having ignored him for the better part of the show, neil finally exploded on him, threatening to "tear that stupid hat off [his] head and shove it up [his] ass." when the heckling continued, neil threw all three of his nearly-drained cocktails on the kid, and then requested that someone in the crowd buy him another drink, just so that he could throw it at the heckler. "preferably something sticky."

posted by jomilkman @ 12:13 PM