"the girlfriend"
this is a convention that dudes use when shooting from the hip with the guys. it needs to be abolished."the girlfriend," or any other empty, off-handed reference to said person, is a crude generalization typically intended to:
a) make one's girlfriend out to be a routine inconvenience,
b) to imply her subservience and
c) to imply, in a self-satisified manner, and through the very act of turning the concept into a conversational convention, one's entitlement to having a girlfriend.
for example's sake, here's how you might hear it being used: " ... so, they ended up charging me with DUI. i still haven't even figured out how i'm gonna tell the girlfriend (read: the person who just happens to be filling the role of significant other at this time in my life, and whose actual identity is superfluous to the function she fills in terms of my wants and needs. here, she is a footnote in the service of my lame story) about it ... "
"the girlfriend" has a name, you ungrateful turd. some guys would cut off their own right pinky to have someone that listened to their daily drivel and did all manner of little things to assure them that their personhood and lives have a greater meaning and purpose outside of eating, crapping and sleeping.
based on my own experiences, it would seem that it's men that are largely guilty of this kind of dismissive bullshit. but then again, i'm not generally privy to girl talk.
posted by jomilkman @ 9:05 AM
8 Comments:
I think it's more of a smary way to note that you are somehow desireable enough to have snared a woman.
On an unrelated note, the more I drink, the more difficult it is to get by the "word verification."
And when I say "smary," I mean, "smarmy."
JG is right, it does go both ways -- smarm is smarm. Still, I think "the girlfriend" usage you speak of is so odious because of the "old ball and chain" subtext.
And sadly, the word verification stumps me even when I'm stone cold sober.
i think this is one of your finest blogs milkman
just to play the other side, don't you think a guy could just talk about "the girlfriend" to indicate that they are in a special male arena without meaning it to demean anybody?
since you used "the girlfriend" in a context unflattering to the utterer of said statement, perhaps another example: "so yesterday, i was shopping downtown, and i bought a cool scarf for the girlfriend. she'll love it."
maybe it's annoying, but odious? frigging odious? um, lighten up?
huh? ok. i feel lighter already.
wheeeeee!
can't... stop... commenting...
jack and meg - agreed
bubby ray - this is what i was getting at with item c, and i think your wording does a better job of cutting right to the heart of the matter
ms. b - what can i say. i thought that was the gentlemanly thing to do
edith - thank you kindly
anon - nah, the use from your example isn't particularly demeaning.
thing is, i doubt that the "the girlfriend" cliche came about because we needed another way of establishing a special male arena. i mean, beer farts have been around for centuries, haven't they?
i also think it's telling that there's no comparable corresponding phrase for other people; you don't hear someone referring to "the sister" or "the best friend."
one has to wonder why this specific cliche exists in the first place, and the only explanation i can think of rests in the three items i enumerated.
so, while i don't think your example is demeaning, i do think that the 'c' item still applies. it's a given.
sorry if it seems i'm unduly hung up on semantics, but i thought this would make a good subject for a stimulating post. judging by the response, it did.
Post a Comment
<< Home