for those about to rock

put your hand down, asshole

here's an annoying phenomenon you'll witness every now and then in the city, and a little more seldomly in the suburbs. some guy crossing the street decides to slow up his step halfway across and hold up his hand in front of an oncoming car, indicating chidingly to the driver that he or she is going too fast. now, there's a lot of bastards and maniacs out there who not only don't slow down for a pedestrian, but will actually give it a little gas when they see someone dare to cross in front of them. those nimrods deserve whatever they get in return, even if it only amounts to a dainty reprimand. but honestly, more often than not, i'll notice that the car is clearly slowing to a stop, even before it gets the hand. which begs the question: why the hand?

the only thing i can think of is that it's conditioned reflex. which makes me think about how a lot of people who walk by like twenty feet away from me when i'm smoking outside of my office building will cough in spite of the fact that THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKE ANYWHERE NEAR THEM (and i mean that; aside from the liberal amount of space i put between myself and potential passers-by, i take extra care to blow the smoke in such a manner that, direction of wind and speed taken into account, it will not cross anyone's path, unless circumstances somehow make it impossible. which is rare). and ever since i started working in the city, i've noticed this. it happens A LOT. coughing not as a reaction to a physical encounter with smoke, but as an almost Pavlovian reflex response to the IDEA of smoking. almost Pavlovian because, well, take it within its social context; people don't spontaneously burst into coughing fits watching the movie backdraft or one of dean-o's old friar's club roasts. nope, the cough reflex, as i've encountered it, seems not intended to relieve so much as to correct.


taken together, what do these phenomena of the city tell us?

the answer is that deep down, a lot of people are petulant babies.

posted by jomilkman @ 2:15 PM